I can't handle this anymore.
Don't you hate it when your "friend" back stabs you, lies to you, and just treats you like crap?
How can I trust you when you don't trust me.
You tell me you never do this, you tell me you never do that, then I find out you are completely lying to me?
WHAT THE HECK?!
I found out I'm not the only one you do it to.
You treat all your friends like crap.
He is your number one priority, you seemingly put him even in front of what should matter to you most.
You criticize every one of your friends mistakes.
You think your perfect, you really aren't, I promise you ain't Jesus.
When you are around people that matter to you more, apparently, you totally treat me like crap.
You say I'm your best friend, but if I was , why would you do that to me?
Maybe we will stay friends in high school, but probably not.
Right now, I don't feel like I'll be too upset.
You're my best friend. You're my worst enemy.
I love you. I hate you.
You don't care. You care.
You treat me well. You ignore me completely.
What else can I do? I don't matter to you, why should you matter to me.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Summer 2008.
Wow! This summer has been nothing but activity after activity. School got out June 2nd and basically I just spent the next few days hanging out with friends before I left for Kentucky. On June 8th I left for Laurel Mission in Big Laurel Kentucky. That was an amazing trip. Although I wished there had been more interaction within the trip, lately I've begun to realize changes that happened within me during the trip. I've definately become a lot more patient. So far, I've had very few fights with my family because I am now capable of ignoring my dads attempts to push my buttons. I'm also more independent now, I think I've begun to do a lot more on my own and be less dependent on my friends. Maybe the trip wasn't everything I expected but now coming back from it I see some definate changes in my personality. We got home from that trip on June 13 and I had to begin unpacking and repacking to leave for camp on June 15th. Camp this year was AMAZING. Our speaker, Jason Holdridge was such a dynamic and amazing speaker. Later, I'll be copying Brandi and typing out a list of things I learned from him =]. But this guy literally changed my life, he taught me how to take the next step in my faith by accepting Jesus' invitation into HIS life, instead of our inviataion for him to join our already cluttered life. On Wednesday, June 18th 2008, I made another commitment to God and I became a new part of His heart. It was beautiful to see 90% of the room crying and making a commitment to follow him, some people even made first commitments while everyone else recommited.
Thank you Jason.
Thank you Jason.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Changes.
Everyone is always saying, "Highschool will be the best years of you life!" and "Middle school was terrible!" But what if middle school was filled with amazing experiences, excepting Jesus Christ and so many other amazing things you can't begin to describe? These past three years have blown by waaaaay too fast and I HATE it! So right now I want to talk to you about it.
2005-2006. My sixth grade year. I entered Riverview Middle School as a shy, little girl who felt alone in the world, abandoned by her best friends as they all went to the other school. I thought it was going to be the worst year of my life. I cried everyday for the first week or so, but slowly I began to accept new people in my life. Taryn Wuensch and Sarah Homme were always there for me, even when people started rumors about us all hating each other, we pulled through it. Later that year I began to expand even more becoming closer with Lauren Johnson and Hannah Dean. Hannah Dean, something about her intrigued me. I always knew I wanted Jesus in my life, but how could I let him in? Summer of 2006-Hannah invites me to College Park for a simple movie night, but something about it makes me want to be a part of that fellowship. A month of begging, and my parents start attending CP just in time for me to get involved.
2006-2007. The year that changed my life. College Park was great for me, Amos Caley was always there and I couldn't think of anyone who had affected me more. I began getting involved with Student Leaders. But on the Fall Retreat "Reality Check" that year, my life changed. Amos talked about what it means to accept Jesus and I knew in that moment, that I had potential and needed him in my life. I accepted Christ into my life on that one fateful weekend. Still, my faith began to deteoriate as I went back to school and didn't have Brandi who I'd gone through all of it with. She's accepted Christ with me, I really needed her. But Hannah Dean, Laura Daronatsy, and Anndee Hinesley were inspirations for me. They supported me thorough it all and helped me to become a better Christian.
2007-2008. It isn't over yet but it almost is. This past year Andy Vaught, Lauren Darr and Jeremiah Sherlock completely transformed my life. It started out with Jeremiah who I'd really known for most of my life but had never really talked to him. But at camp at the end of my 7th grade year we became back in contact. Brandi and I used his phone number on his Facebook for a prank call, who knew it'd become a lifelong friendship? Jeremiah and I talk almost everynight and almost always have some sort of meaningful thing we need to talk about. Next came Andy Vaught, I also met him at camp that year and he said he'd be Amos' replacement. He seemed like a really great guy but I dind't think I'd be able to relate to him as well as I can. Andy has always been there for me and as this year comes to a close I wish I could continue to attend Launch in addition to the Current. Andy has affected my life more than anyone else. He is amazing. Then Lauren Darr, she had been at CP for a while but I hadn't gotten close to her but on Winter Rush I began to develop a bond with her, and on the Retreat to Nowhere she became one of my closest friends. Next, she became my small group leader where she became very vunerable and just honest and inspirational to all in the group. Lauren was an amazing inspiration I just can't believe she's gone for 7 months! As my middle school career, and seemingly my life come to an end I feel like I'm a walking target, having nothing to look forward to. Student Leaders ended, Small group with Lauren ended, youth group ended tonight, and campus life only has one more week. Yes, all of the church events HAVE become my life and believe me theres nothing I'd rather do. I'm sure no one will read this but If you have any comforting words. Please, do tell.
2005-2006. My sixth grade year. I entered Riverview Middle School as a shy, little girl who felt alone in the world, abandoned by her best friends as they all went to the other school. I thought it was going to be the worst year of my life. I cried everyday for the first week or so, but slowly I began to accept new people in my life. Taryn Wuensch and Sarah Homme were always there for me, even when people started rumors about us all hating each other, we pulled through it. Later that year I began to expand even more becoming closer with Lauren Johnson and Hannah Dean. Hannah Dean, something about her intrigued me. I always knew I wanted Jesus in my life, but how could I let him in? Summer of 2006-Hannah invites me to College Park for a simple movie night, but something about it makes me want to be a part of that fellowship. A month of begging, and my parents start attending CP just in time for me to get involved.
2006-2007. The year that changed my life. College Park was great for me, Amos Caley was always there and I couldn't think of anyone who had affected me more. I began getting involved with Student Leaders. But on the Fall Retreat "Reality Check" that year, my life changed. Amos talked about what it means to accept Jesus and I knew in that moment, that I had potential and needed him in my life. I accepted Christ into my life on that one fateful weekend. Still, my faith began to deteoriate as I went back to school and didn't have Brandi who I'd gone through all of it with. She's accepted Christ with me, I really needed her. But Hannah Dean, Laura Daronatsy, and Anndee Hinesley were inspirations for me. They supported me thorough it all and helped me to become a better Christian.
2007-2008. It isn't over yet but it almost is. This past year Andy Vaught, Lauren Darr and Jeremiah Sherlock completely transformed my life. It started out with Jeremiah who I'd really known for most of my life but had never really talked to him. But at camp at the end of my 7th grade year we became back in contact. Brandi and I used his phone number on his Facebook for a prank call, who knew it'd become a lifelong friendship? Jeremiah and I talk almost everynight and almost always have some sort of meaningful thing we need to talk about. Next came Andy Vaught, I also met him at camp that year and he said he'd be Amos' replacement. He seemed like a really great guy but I dind't think I'd be able to relate to him as well as I can. Andy has always been there for me and as this year comes to a close I wish I could continue to attend Launch in addition to the Current. Andy has affected my life more than anyone else. He is amazing. Then Lauren Darr, she had been at CP for a while but I hadn't gotten close to her but on Winter Rush I began to develop a bond with her, and on the Retreat to Nowhere she became one of my closest friends. Next, she became my small group leader where she became very vunerable and just honest and inspirational to all in the group. Lauren was an amazing inspiration I just can't believe she's gone for 7 months! As my middle school career, and seemingly my life come to an end I feel like I'm a walking target, having nothing to look forward to. Student Leaders ended, Small group with Lauren ended, youth group ended tonight, and campus life only has one more week. Yes, all of the church events HAVE become my life and believe me theres nothing I'd rather do. I'm sure no one will read this but If you have any comforting words. Please, do tell.
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